He hides himself in a shell of drunken slurs, representing the version of himself that he feels is safest- all things considered. One heartbreak can shatter the soul, leaving you defeated and your empathy deflated, and it is capable of creating an unfixable human being, someone who forces life in order to control what it is that you feel. He doesn’t want to feel, but when he meets someone that allows him to be authentic and real, the walls come up and the vulnerability slides under the bed. The layers of himself, those scars and their corresponding pieces of armor, are hard to crack, but he desperately needs to let someone in or he risks being alone and lonely, never fully capable of having an honest relationship that can mend his broken heart.
Lulling Behind 
The man described in your post would slowly wreck havoc on the life of anyone trying to love him. Emotional pain creates defenses to survive. Add in alcohol and you have a perfect storm. Women are too often drawn to damaged men, hope springing from a desire to love them back from the brink. Ultimately the women find themselves hopeless, soul damaged and peering down into the precipice they helped create. Partners that do not need “fixing” can be uncomfortable to the psyche but, are infinitely better for happiness and overall quality of relationship. However, kissing frogs sometimes is required to “become who we want to be, to determine who we choose to bring into our lives” and to learn the difference between passion and pathos.
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